Disclaimer : This might be lengthy
Phew , realizing I haven’t opened my WordPress app since February 2021 and I haven’t blogged since Last year? Maybe over 8 months……………. I know I’m supposed to say why, which is why I’m here now, I mean LIFE HAS BEEN HAPPENING since February lol (honestly since last year) I just didn’t suspect or rather should I say I didn’t think it’ll drag out this long.
I’m writing this now cuz I needed to vent and I know a lot of my subscribers might not even see this cuz they must have forgotten about my existence and that’s fine. That’s the price I have to pay for inconsistency and I don’t blame anyone for it. I opened this app today because I got a notification in my email from Khairah of Khairah’s corner and something in me just said “But Ore you have a blog as well” “why not write something maybe it’ll help” I didn’t even think twice before opening WordPress to dust cobwebs here, before a viral TikTok video/Instagram explore page will suck me into the wormhole of tons of digital content that will have me scrolling for hours and losing track of time.
Talking about TikTok on here feels like a whole new century, lol . I mean I don’t think I blogged even during the Pandemic. Gosh, yes! The pandemic! There was a pandemic ! Goodness….it’s been THAT long
I’ve missed this so much. I feel so ancient, my WordPress app looks so new on my phone with new features I’m just now trying to understand during the process of drafting this post, I mean I update the app often, I just haven’t deliberately opened it with the intention to write.
Today, Now, at 9:30 on a Wednesday night, half way through the month of July (which I just found out today) I’ve just been living through each day not knowing what day or date or anything. I feel so…. BLEH/BLANK…..I don’t know how to put it in words and I can’t exactly say how I feel or what I’m going through but to say I’m exhausted would be putting it lightly, I feel so exhausted, out of place, behind on life (this hurts twice as much cuz everything about my life has always been well planned out and fast) if anyone had told me in January that I’d be here now, feeling like this , quarter to depressed about the lack of motivation and general exhaustion I’m in now, I’d have laughed and walked away. There are tons of things that are factors of how I feel, TONS. It’s not just as a result of one thing. And I feel bad feeling this way cuz to an extent in one part of the problem, I’m not the only one going through it, my whole family is and I feel bad for feeling exhausted or even talking about it cuz I’m my head I’m thinking, others probably feel bad too and they’re dealing with it.
Don’t even get me started on how I haven’t even created content on my Instagram in over 2 months. I had to take a compulsory, much needed break in the middle of making an announcement I’d been dragging for MONTHS. I get messages everyday from people telli me they noticed I haven’t posted in a while and “am I okay” . Lol I’m grateful and generically speaking “I’m okay”
Another reason why I immediately opened this app to write is because I feel like it’s a personal journal for me, seeing Khairah’s post reminded me of my early days of content creation and blogging, how I wasn’t even making money from this (I still am not) but I loved talking here and expressing myself in the little way I can , lacking sequence but still passing my message across.
I’m writing this carefully and taking my time but still rushing with just enough speed to get my thoughts out before I forget them cuz, I don’t plan to edit it. I don’t plan to read it twice even cuz that might discourage me from publishing it. I just wanted to put my feelings out. To someone on somewhere.
I might delete this…..maybe . Maybe not. We’ll see
I hope to feel lighter soon. I hope to feel better. I really hope things with my and my household restore to its old self and better so I can feel less suffocated.
Until then, if you’re seeing this, I apologize for any typos you might come across. I can’t promise to do this often but I’m hopeful
8 thoughts on “Hi, It’s Me Again.”
It’s “somehow” trying to balance the knowledge (and truth?) that life is in phases and mini-phases, highlights and vicissitudes, against the necessity of being aware and deliberate in living… Life be lifing sometimes… but anytime we get the nudge, “we move”.
That being said, I enjoyed reading this.
Its great to aspire to be consistent; I’d add that whether you post 10 times a day or once a leap year, I’ll be here to read it. Well done.
PS: Don’t delete. This one is special.
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Lol We move really. Thank you so much 💕
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Take all the time you need sweetheart and you and your household are in my prayers ❤️
Thank you so much ❤️
Thank you b💕
You will pull through Ore.
I miss blogging. I miss the community we had here too.
I wish you peace and light and hugs and warmth. Life will get better.
Thank you for sharing this with us.